(Source: pornrelatednightterrors)

lo siento no podemos tener sexo telefónico porque mi móvil es virgen



Translation of Oscar Garcia Sierra’s poem, because I read it this morning and it was great:


my life is an invention of giant multinationals, designed to sell junk food.

as soon as i get in bed you send me a nude and ask that i please be discrete.

i set the picture as my background and censor your breasts with the help of facebook and tumblr.

the kim kardashian game aids me in covering other zones that i don’t want my parents to see.

eating junk food doesn’t unleash any kind of chain-reaction in the universe, and that makes me hungry.

seeing you naked makes me feel like i need to cook something up to destroy my body.

my secret ingredient is not to get mixed up with people who want to get mixed up with me.

i open a greek yogurt imagining that it’s your tits and i close it again because i want to save them for a special occasion.

the anxiety that seeing you naked has caused me is twice as capable of keeping me bedridden than a typical anxiety.

for a moment i consider starting to gauge time using each time that i take my phone out to see what time it is, and putting it back without knowing what time it is, as a minimal unit of time.

if i made you my background it’s so you know that, for me, the internet comes before you.

while i eat mindlessly my eyes rest on the spot where your cleavage normally is.

it upsets me in some way that you don’t have to put water balloons under your shirt anymore.

i check the time on my phone and seeing you naked again gives me a nosebleed.

i try to stop the hemorrhage, or at least to get the hemorrhage to understand how i feel.

i feel really sure of myself when you send me a message meant for your mom at 5 am.

i sweat a lot when you tell me that you won’t get up tomorrow to eat.

i don’t know if i want to digest without you.

Translation in Practice, of interest to literary translators, downloadable now from American LiteraryTranslators Association (ALTA)


These are the proceedings from a symposium on literary translation, now published by Dalkey Archive Press, and the chapters will be of interest to any working or aspiring literary translators.

You can download the PDF here.

Contents include these chapters

1. How editors choose…

Check out these great resources for literary translation!

Thanks @translateable for sharing.


Instead of leaking celebrity photos we could leak pdf versions of college textbooks? Idk just an idea


Juan Manuel Zermeño Posadas    


Below, my translation of Juan Manuel Zermeño Posadas’ poem [PoeObama].

Juan Manuel Zermeño Posadas

Welcome you’re witnessing the birth of
a really fuckin’ postmodern poem:
one of those 80’s poems that wishes it was 90’s
a really hater poem that everyone detests
exclusively for readers of the best poetry:
this poem has Van Gogh’s lost ear
and the feet of Ezra Pound
in its infant stages I read it to ten bricklayers and an architect
and the architect’s daughter
-who herself was a poem-
so don’t come at me with your “poor structure”
this is a vegan poem and it recognizes its pro-grammarnazi,
pro-feminazi, pro-environazi influence and all the other
trends that legitimate its culturedness
-cheap shots that didn’t even occur to Góngora-
This poem is also an act of rebellion [I clarify]
To those that claim I didn’t understand
the whole ‘making the rose bloom’ thing
in the poem [I clarify] yes, I understood
but that’s not the point
more than just defending itself, this poem wishes to shine the spotlight onto its author
And if you want pop stick a lolly in your mouth
(It’d be a hit in Ancient Greece,
the Romans would’ve translated it and awarded it to Dante
for being vulgar or to Tesla in the UAE for being current)
this poem looks to break a plate or two
against the heads of the ten thousand anthologists
that roam about freely like Juan in his house
This poem seeks an anthology of poems

it will go door to door squeezing
door knockers
serenading the publishers’ moms
the tenth of may
it’ll be a well mannered poem
-children are a reflection of their parents-
it will be their pride and joy [up til its teens]
it’s going to decide it wants gauges instead of a piercing
in the final syllable in order to make
a perfect hendecasyllable
but at the end of the day we know
it’s just
a lazy do-nothing’s verse
an epigraph of future generations
it’s definitely the product of a bipolar poet:
one of those cocksuckers
that bends over
and wins prizes -this is a poem written under the auspices of a grant-
but the check dried up
and the poem had to be printed
to earn a living
it will become a rapper and have a black accent
-it will never again be a white verse-
it will live under racist’s censorship
and he just wanted to be like tupac
or nothing of the sort
perhaps it will become the cover of some self-help book
slogan of some transnational
or, worst case scenario, an acción poética painting
it’s a poem with a hard heart to
because in spite of being bad
it never loses hope that
someone might post its bond to the author,
let it go free and
be a heritage of the world and humanity
while the drunk who wrote it
still hunkers on the sofa
waiting for it to return and take care of him
in his old age
it’s a poem that doesn’t bite
the hand that feeds

🌆Golden City🌆

🌆Golden City🌆

A former LAPD officer turned sociologist observed that the overwhelming majority of those beaten by police turn out not to be guilty of any crime. “Cops don’t beat up burglars”, he observed. The reason, he explained, is simple: the one thing most guaranteed to evoke a violent reaction from police is to challenge their right to “define the situation.”…The police truncheon is precisely the point where the state’s bureaucratic imperative for imposing simple administrative schema, and its monopoly of coercive force, come together. It only makes sense then that bureaucratic violence should consist first and foremost of attacks on those who insist on alternative schemas or interpretations. At the same time, if one accepts Piaget’s famous definition of mature intelligence as the ability to coordinate between multiple perspectives (or possible perspectives) one can see, here, precisely how bureaucratic power, at the moment it turns to violence, becomes literally a form of infantile stupidity.
Medieval Illuminati Vocabulary

It’s been quite a long time, but here’s another list of weird words and phrases I learned while reading Die Henkerstocher: Der schwarze Mönch (aka: The Hangman’s Daughter: The Black Monk) by Oliver Pötzch. I’d recommend this series for high-intermediate German learners; although it takes place in Bavaria there is very little dialect (often simply stated by the narrator as having been “said in a thick Swabian accent”) and there’s nary a Proustian sentence. The biggest challenge for most readers will probably be the abundance of out-dated vocabulary (the story is set in the 16th Century). The first book (simply:Die Henkerstochter)is a great, fairly historically accurate read. The second book has had me loosing interest, though the series is a big hit in translation here in the States. Anyways, here’s my list for those interested.

-e Kutte: Cowl
-e Soutane: Cossack
-e Pranke: Paw (fig. for hands)
-e Völlerei: Gluttony
-r Tokajer: classic, noble wine variant from Southern Slovakia
-s Mordstrumm: [Austrian] a gigantic thing
-s Schäfterstündchen: a midday nap (lit: A little Shepard’s hour)
durchdacht [adj]: elaborate, well thought out
-r Quarkwickel: Quark poultice [aka a plaster cast for medicinal purposes]
-r Halunke: scoundrel, rascal
bezirzen: to sweet-talk [alternative but discouraged spelling: becircen]
-e Komturei: commandery administrative system of Teutonic Knight’s Order, made of of Komture
-r Zwinger: outer ward [of a castle]; [dog] kennel
-e Geisel: hostage [archaic: -r Geisel]
jmn. als Geisel nehmen: to take someone hostage
dezent [adv.]: subtly
jmd. in die Quere kommen: to get in somebody’s way; to cross somebody’s path
-r Krummdolch: curved dagger
-r Lakai: croony
-r Kienspanhalter: old utensil used to hold and light a piece of kindling gichtig [adj.]: gouty [uncommon alternative for: gichtkrank]
um jmn. herumscharwenzeln: to suck up to someone [Note: BEST VERB EVER!]
-r Tand: kitch, trinkets
-r Bezoar: [medical] hair ball, in context: production and uses of bezoars
-s Klistier: [medical] ENEMA [sooner or later, you have to learn this word, right?]
panschen: to water down/adulterate [wine/beverage]
verwesen: to decay/decompose [Note: Irregular Präteritum verwest]
-s Kyrieeleison: kyrie eleison, name of an important Eastern Orthodox prayer [Lord, have mercy…]
-e Mitgift: dowry
-r Kopffüßler: Cephalopods; name given for stupid children’s drawings of humans
-r/-s Furunkel: [medical] boil
-s Ketzertum: heresy
-r Schlifstengel: reedstalk
von jmd. sich in der Suppe spucken lassen: to allow others to get the better of oneself [Lit:_ to let someone spit in your soup_]
-e Borke: bark [less common synonym for Baumrinde]
-s Faustpfand: [tangible] collateral
jmd. den Hof machen: to court sb.; to woo somebody
-s Gelübde: vow
gen Himmel: heavenbound [gen is an archaic preposition for nach]
-r Ausschlag: [medical] rash
erzürnt: enraged [gehoben]

Bonus: An interesting TV spot about Pötzch from Bayerischer Rundfunk (with embarrassingly cheesy “comical” dramatizations)

Pretty good nature weekend for living in Chicago

Pretty good nature weekend for living in Chicago

this year i have to apply for things where people will judge me and tell me if i stack up to their expectations or not.

and i’ve done this plenty of times.

and it’s never not nerve-wracking, and it becomes increasingly difficult to fill in the lines and revise the essays.